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Greetings, earthlings. It’s time for the not-at-all-ballyhooed feature that’s gone on about 11 years too long to return.

I spent last week minding the store for Kevin while he was getting Kirby Smart’s oil changed, but we return this week with a look at some of last week’s storylines and this week’s games I’ll be watching. Before we get there, though — if you’ll allow me, a brief detour.

I’m well aware that this isn’t a college basketball feature, and I don’t intend it to be. The big news of the week, however, centers around Tony Bennett leaving Virginia following a storied career. Argue the timing all you like, but what you cannot argue is that college sports are better without Tony Bennett, Nick Saban, or other legends involved. To those who led the charge that eventually ran those guys off, I hope it was worth it.

Tony Bennett: “I think it’s right for student-athletes to receive revenue. Please don’t mistake me. I do. But the game and college athletics are not in a healthy spot. There needs to be change. … It’s going to be closer to a professional model.”

— Nicole Auerbach (@NicoleAuerbach) October 18, 2024

He’s not incorrect.

Moving on…

• UAB got drilled — again — by Army, sending the Blazers careening to 1-5. Trent Dilfer is now 5-13 as UAB’s coach, and this hire looks more and more like a disaster with every passing week. It looks even worse the more Bryant Vincent wins at what most considered a football purgatory at ULM. It’s unclear how much longer they can continue with this experiment in Birmingham as a competitive league passes them by.
• Speaking of ‘Bama, they snuck by South Carolina at home. The Tide are 5-1, but that record feels precarious. It would not surprise anyone to see Alabama tear off a few wins in a row, but a slate that starts with Third Saturday in October this weekend and follows with Missouri visiting Tuscaloosa will be a test. It should be the aspiration of every school in America to have a 9-3 or 10-2 “down year”.
• The FCS powers in the Dakotas just keep winning. North Dakota State grabbed a 24-3 win on the road at SIU, while South Dakota thumped Northern Iowa to move to 5-1 on the campaign. Perhaps most notable of all was South Dakota State’s 63-13 result over Youngstown State, which also took them to 5-1. While we’re on this subject, does anyone remember when Youngstown was relevant in the FCS? The loss dropped YSU to 2-5 on the season, and the Penguins have made the playoffs just once since the end of the 2016 season.
• The Red River Shootout (still not calling it Rivalry) was pretty disappointing to anyone not wearing burnt orange. Oklahoma never challenged the Longhorns — it could have been even worse than it was, to be honest — and Brent Venables now has a quarterback quandary between Jackson Arnold and Michael Hawkins. Meanwhile, Texas is just shaking off CJ Baxter’s season-ending injury, as Tre Wisner logged 13 totes for 118 yards and a score. I’m not as optimistic about the chances for the ‘Horns this week, though, as Georgia invades Austin.
• Speaking of spiraling clubs — and Oklahoma — USC fell in overtime to Penn State. The Trojans are now sitting at 3-3, and Lincoln Riley’s decision to head to Los Angeles looks worse and worse by the day for both sides. USC has just one ranked team — for now — remaining on its 2024 slate, but things are getting awfully uncomfortable out west.
• Vanderbilt is 4-2 after a win at Kentucky. To think that both Virginia and Vanderbilt would be sitting at 4-2 is not something I could have easily processed eight weeks ago. Virginia could have been playing for bowl eligibility — and likely having to wait another week for it — at Clemson this week, but gave one away late to Louisville. Virginia has four ranked opponents of its final six and Vanderbilt three, so if you asked me now which of those schools would be more likely to go bowling, I’d suggest the Commodores.

And now, for what I’ll be watching, along with the big games:

• South Carolina (3-3) at Oklahoma (4-2), 12:45pm (SECN), OKLA -1:  We talked about both of these teams a bit ago, so we won’t belabor those points. This one looks interesting because of Shane Beamer’s return to Norman with his own club in a game that feels absolutely vital for both sides. LaNorris Sellers is finding his way a bit for the Gamecocks and is one of the most dynamic and poised first-year quarterbacks anywhere in college football. Vegas seems to think this one is as much of a toss-up as do I. This one should come down to a special teams play or a turnover, but nothing this season ever seems to be as it should.
• Charlotte (3-3) at #25 Navy (5-0), 3:30pm (CBSSN), Navy -16.5:  Charlotte started the season in a complete tailspin between injuries and other program problems, but the 49ers have rattled off three of their last four. It is noteworthy, naturally, that those three have come against Gardner-Webb, East Carolina, and Rice, but still. Navy, meanwhile, is second nationally in rushing yards at 295.6 per contest under Brian Newberry. The Midshipmen’s attack is tough to defend, of course, but could present even more of a problem for this 49er club. Charlotte opponents rush for 182 yards per game, which is 108th-best in the FBS.

Three others to watch:

• Delaware (6-0) at Richmond (4-2), 3:30pm (FLOF), no published line
• JMU (5-1) at Georgia Southern (4-2), 4pm (ESPN+), JMU -10
• South Dakota State (5-1) at North Dakota State, 8pm (ESPN2), SDSU -2.5:  This is the game to watch, especially if you’d rather not watch Georgia-Texas. The Dakota Marker is one of the most coveted trophies among FCS clubs — we did a feature on it earlier this week — and these are the top two clubs in the classification. This game will take on even more significance than just the trophy, though, as the sides battle for supremacy atop the FCS and playoff seeding at the season’s end.

* All times Eastern. At no point should any part of this feature be construed as gambling advice. Please play responsibly and source any guidance elsewhere.

That’s all the damage I can do this week. Please continue to pray for and help our friends in the southeast as hurricane recovery and cleanup efforts continue. Until we meet again, enjoy your football weekend.